Something have really thrown me off lately, and there somethings I really wish I could talk to someone about (cough, Kaelee, cough!) Some things I'm not proud of, somethings I've done that are stupid. Anywho, a long rant about how I feel about everyone right now.


OH!
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not into drugs, alcohol, boys, smoking, I think its all lame!


Anywho. First part of my book is going up, screwed with the names a little bit. Idk. I still like Kohrah though. *pisspisspissedoffmood* I"m so aggravated I can't even explain it. Like anger thats so angry its depressing. But hey ho, a pirates life we go!


~~ Dear Olivia: ~~
Thanks for being such a wonderful friend, your perverted obnoxious attitude helped me through alot of crap this year. It helped me change a little and not take everything so seriously.

~~Dear Alberto:~~
You're my best friend. I'm sorry things never worked out between us, but that's all. Your just my friend. Sorry, and I guess I did like you, but it was because you were always there for me as a friend, and I appreciate everything you ever did for me.

** Dear Genaro: **
Three words, deep from the heart. I hate you. You ruined everything for me. I trusted you, or at least I thought I could. You turned half of my friends against me for your own stupid reasons. AND YOU LIED TO MY DAMN TEACHER. You made her almost kick me out of Drama, and the worst part: I almost did leave, because I was so sick of being around you. Then, I leave for a few days and you completely forget I exist. I seriously wouldn't have cared if we WERENT going out/ together! We may have just hung out and played naruto and told jokes together, but that was the only time I was really happy. And you ruined it. Killed it, slaughtered it. Nothing may have happened between us but when we were together I had never felt better. Speaking of you sucking: You dated my best friend, broke her heart, tried to date my other best friend, made my other friend cry, you were a JERK to Ruth, PLUS you had no respect for anyone or anything but yourself. You can't keep a secret and you're a liar. Clear things up? I have a lot of choice words for you, but I'm done wasting my time.


~~ Dear Mrs.Marositz:
I have a lot to say to you, some things I wished I could have talked to you about, somethings I'd wish I wouldn't have said. You were an amazing teacher both educationally and emotionally. I really felt safe around you and happier, like nothing else mattered but being the perfect student. Which I was FAR from, but it gave me something to do. You inspired me to write a book (or fifty...) which I hope to finish someday, atleast I can write this one. I'm really sad about not being in your class, as I really enjoyed it. I feel I wasn't honest enough though and I did act alot differently around you then I did in other classes. I tried to be more mature and not as childish, like it really mattered. What mattered was that I got my crap done in class, and somehow, some way, I did. Thank you. I also got straight A's this year, your two classes being my highest grades.

Also: I'm not all that sweet and kind. I get angry alot, and cry often. I also have horrible language, though I try not to cuss around most people. I tried working on my religious problems, which, for some reason, seemed alot harder in your class. I have issues with death, and learning about ancient civilizations really threw me off. Like. I thought I'd have to leave a few times.

I'm working on being a better person, and you're really the perfect role model. Your smart, funny, and have a happy life. I think somethings in your life have happened for certain reasons, and I think you've used those experiences in a very beneficial way. Sorry for not being the most understanding or perfect student, I wish I could have done alot of things differently.



~~ Christian: ~~

I don't know what to tell you. Its a very strange friendship. I yelled at you, alot. And it was always easier to yell at you then to point out your great features. Your a smart and funny person that I , unfortunately, never had the real chance to meet until it was too late. Thanks for understanding ^_^.

~~ Mrs.Johnson: ~~

Lord. I have so many things to say to you... Some you may or may not agree with, some that will make you happy and some that might just make you angry. Lets start.

I loved your class, for the most part. It was something I felt good about, something that made me feel confident. It was a blast and I enjoyed it. Unfortunately, it was SOOOOO hard to get through to you. Like I tried to help you, and tried to participate and you CONSTANTLY threw me to the side and ignored me. Or told me that I wasn't the director and had no input on the play, or monologue. or class. I really thought things would have worked out better if you would have listened. I didn't take directing as a college class, you're right. But I was the same age as the audience and I knew what they didn't want. But you never cared.

Annie: I was happy to be in the play Annie. And what happened with Ari, really did upset me. I didn't see talent in Ari, and my ego was too inflated to see that she was a great addition. I thought I was better than her, at everything. And i wasn't. I was rude and unkind. And she was always so quiet and understanding. She never tried to really make anyone angry, which is what I strived to do. I wish I wouldn't have said those things about Ari, as she didn't deserve them. She's an amazing young lady that I had the honor to call my friend. Even though I didn't deserve it.

Class in General: I was always angry in your class. At every little thing. I wanted everything to look perfect, and when i was teamed up with people I didn't like, I made that very clear. I'm sorry you had to deal with me, and at times, I think leaving drama would have been better for me. But a lot happened this year, and the friends I made in Drama are my BEST friends. Kaelee, Alberto, Bailee... I love them to pieces.

Into The Woods: I'm not going to lie. I was so angry to get a guys part. I was really not happy. But it turned out great, and I realized that even small parts, or even big parts that may not seem like much, have a huge impact on the play. Even if it was just bearded me, or the stepsisters, or the tree, everyone did an amazing job, and i was so thankful to be a part of that experience.

Genaro, Amanda, and Raymond: What happened with that rumor was true. Genaro did say that and I told Amanda what he had told me because I cared about her feelings, I wanted her to know and not hear it from some stranger. I didn't do it to make her angry, or sad, or to be my friend or to ruin her and genaro's friendship. I did it because I honestly cared. You made me feel like such a horrible person, every day. And I'd go home CRYING from your class. I've never felt so unimportant. And, maybe it was because I wasn't the star, or the class pet for once, maybe because I wasn't the best in your class, but you always seemed to find a way to upset me. And it hurt.

HUGE PART I LEFT OUT FIRST TIME: I really do think that you're a cool teacher. i was just kind of hard for you to throw me some reality. So for sounding rude, It's late and I'm angry, I suppose. I miss being in your class because it was challenging, and I wanted to come visit and help out one day, but, unfortunately.... given these new circumstances i don't think spending a whole day in your class would make anyone really happy...

Other: I'm really in an awkward state with you. I want to say: Yeah! She was an awesome teacher, I had no problems. Because you ARE an amazing teacher, and your a wonderful actress. But I just can't right now. I'm so confused. And the things you've said about me really hurt. I'm trying to be a better person, and I thank you for that. I thank you for everything else one day too.

~~ Ashlie Garcia: ~~
I couldn't believe that you lied about that. And you know what I'm talking about. That isn't something you joke about, and I don't give a rats tail if "the demon inside" of you made you do it or not. I was honestly worried about you, and I tried to help you. Then you turn around and say it was a hoax! I was so disappointed, I thought you were a better person than that.

~~ Chad Golding: ~~
Jeez. You were such a great person to be around, and I really found you to be a great friend! I was so happy when I was around you, you were funny and smart, and everything I wasn't. You had friends and always had a way of making everyone smile. You're hilarious puns and jokes made my year a whole lot better! Thanks!

~~~ Ari johnson: ~~
You're an amazing young individual, cunning, funny, and an all around good person. I apologize for being such a jerk to you. I wish I could have been a better friend, you deserved a lot more. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your latest endeavors!

~~ Kaely (Birch) Urias: ~~
Gosh dang! Your a lively young girl aren't you? You always seem to handle things with such a positive attitude! I'm green with envy. I wish you nothing but luck with your family, you'll find a way! You're a spunky and funny young lady, You'll turn into an amazing young adult. I'm lucky to be your friend.

~~ Kaelee England: ~~

YOU ARE MY BESTEST BEST FRIEND. You may not know this, but I stalk you. just kidding. I miss you so much! Your positive attitude and bubbly personality helped me change a little. Your commitment to God is spectacular and theres alot for me to learn from you. One day, I'll upgrade our tree to a forest, and we'll own our own television station (inside joke for anyone else reading this). You're a VERY talented young girl, I see you on the stage when you get older. You'll go soooo many places, and I hope you enjoy where life takes you.

Thank you for helping me sort out my feelings and staying up late reading all of my texts. I appreciate your friendliness and willingness to help others. You're a great role model, and I hope, someday, to be atleast half as awesome as you!


~~ Jordyn Combs ~~
Aren't you the smart one ^_^, your a very amazing person, I was delightfully giggly when I was around you. Your funny and smart, you'll aspire to be someone great, my grandchildren will read about you one day ^_^

~~ Elizabeth ~~
You know how much I care about you (in a friend way) Your a very strong young woman, your past events are very unfortunate, but I hope your happier now ^_^, God bless you. Oh! And thank you for listening to me, when nobody else would.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EVERYONE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading. I've been meaning to write this for some time. I apologize for any heart feelings.



^_^ = my most commonly used smiley face, like and , it basically means I'm thankful. Or really happy.

If I seem like a different person that you though I was, sorry. I am. I'm not all that smart, I never study. Everything i know is forced into my head by teachers. I hate science. It goes against most things I believe and RUINS my faith in God. It does. And it's really sad that I'd turn away from god because of a stupid dinosaur.

My Problems: I'm angry (always), I cry, I'm a backstabber, I'm a kissup, I try to be perfect, I have a huge ego, and I'm RUDE. I hurt other people's feelings to boost my own. And I seriously, could snap myself with a rubber band for three days straight for how bad I feel.


THANK YOU ALL!